And Maybe Even Better Sex
Summary:
A sexier bedroom goes deeper than looks. You need to connect with what makes you feel sensual and alive first. We will follow the same seven steps no matter your style:
clear old clutter
choose your colors
select the right furniture
enhance your texture
layer moody lighting
choose the right decor
incorporate natural elements
These 7 steps will help you decorate the sensual bedroom you want without hiring a designer or wasting months figuring it out alone.
Comin’ in hot with this one, huh? I’m going to teach you how to make your bedroom more luxurious, and the effects are going to reach far beyond aesthetics. No bedroom glow up, in my opinion, is worth the money unless you feel different afterward. So let’s turn you on, bb.
Listen, I’ve been hoarding and hiding this information for a while now, mostly because it’s weird to talk about publicly. And it’s not the sex part I’m not comfortable with — I don’t want my own bedroom on the internet.
It’s private, sacred and personal.
I post pics every now and then, because I love a moody aesthetic. But I’m not teaching you this for looks. I’m teaching you this because what you put into your home is what you will get back out of it.
When people come over, they’re mesmerized. I catch them in my room just looking around (no, I don’t mind), taking selfies in my big mirror, or generally just gawking — because it has an energy to it. It’s felt, and I did that on purpose.
Let me back up a lil, add some context, then give you the razzle dazzle so you can get a sexy bedroom (and better sex) too.
This bedroom makeover isn't about following trends, by the way, but rather it's about designing a sensual, intentional space that mirrors the version of you you're ready to embody. Think of it as bedroom manifestation x interior design.
Y’all I’m Goin’ Through a Dry Spell
A few years ago, I was going through a dry spell. Did I want a more active sex life? Yeah. Was I disgusted with the male population and repulsed by the idea of letting a man near me? Yeah and yeah.
But, I’m a manifesting queen, right? So I decided to create the room that would attract exactly the kind of experience I was looking to have.
No more boring-ass gyrators, lazy starfish or two pump chumps allowed!! I wanted a man that knows what he’s doing and actually wants to do it.
I know that sounds like fiction, honey, but just hang in there.
The “before” photos…
If You Build It, You Will Come
I wanted my room to be super romantic, dreamy, magical and to command absolute respect. I wanted it to be grounding, safe and so goddamn beautiful that no dusty crusty man could ever enter again without immediately bursting into flames in the doorway.
I wanted it to emanate sensuality to remind me of what I want every day and what I will not settle for. plus, having a moody, sexy room is just a fucking viiiiibe. I’m talking from experience here.
The first (and only) man I’ve let into my room since literally said, “I’m a little scared” the first time he saw my room. And that was when I knew… I was about to be, um, respected, if you know what I mean.
But it’s not about another person — it’s about you. When you feel confident, sensual and grounded, you stop letting anything less cross your threshold. And I want all of us to raise the bedroom bar.
So here’s what I did:
1. Get Rid of Unsexy Stuff (de-clutter for a fresh start)
I was like 33 or something at this point, and I’ll be honest, some of the things I still had in my room felt kind of like a college dorm. I’m an advocate for spaces being exactly what you want them to be, so that’s no shade to dorm rooms, but it didn’t fit the vibe of what I was going for and what I saw for myself. This looks different for everyone, so you need to look around the room and ask yourself if there are things in there that turn you off, and if so, kick ‘em out or at least hide them.
Kids’ stuff, pet stuff, utility items — the boring stuff that makes life run is needed, but who’s genuinely turned on by the shit you keep tripping over every day? Figure out a better place for it. It doesn’t belong in your room.
And hey — if you can’t get rid of everything “unsexy” because of life circumstances, it’s ok, queen. There’s no room for shame in sexy bedrooms.
2. Get Deeper With Your Colors (color ideas for a sensual, moody atmosphere)
A huge part of feeling sexy and sensual is feeling safe in your body, and that’s very different for everyone, so I’m not purporting that color alone will make you feel safe in your sensuality. I am saying it can add to or enhance these feelings when chosen intentionally for that purpose.
I personally chose a deep reddish/cocoa brown, deep red, iridescent stone gray, cream and a flash of white for my colors. You could even just incorporate one that feels ultra sexy, sensual (they’re different) or both to you!
Think about what colors make your senses feel expanded, alive and online because they’re safe, calming, grounding and rooted.
This is the palette I went for in my new room
3. Make a Power Play With Your Furniture (furniture ideas that feel elevated and intentional)
I had a princess bed for like a decade up to this point — and I mean that literally. It was one of those beds that was superrrr high off the ground. I (and everyone else) had to literally climb into it — I’m talking hoist and scramble. Which, I mean, I loved. It was fun, different and I was used to it!
But again, I was nearing my mid 30s, and even though I did like it, I was ready for a change. I wanted something that felt more serious and in control. Jumping in and out of bed wasn’t giving “bow down to me” energy, ya know? So swapped my white metal lifted frame for a low, brown velvet one, and I’m so glad I did.
Even swapping one thing in your room that feels unserious for something that’s more elevated (not literally and no pun intended) will give you a powerful, in-control feeling in your room.
4. Get Physical (texture ideas that instantly change the mood)
The textures in your room can take any ho-hum bedroom into one that feels naughty in the best way instantly — you just wanna touch it. I’m talking layers. I’m talking fabrics. I’m talking pillows, curtains, throws — the works.
There is literally nothing sexy about a crisp cotton bedspread with exactly 2 pillows and a throw made up perfectly like a staged showroom. You don’t have to change everything, but I went crazy with it because I wanted to.
5. Turn the Lights Down Low (layered bedroom lighting for a sexy, sensual vibe)
If you know me at all, you already know I’m obsessed with lighting. I have like 7 different light sources in my room alone: strip lights behind the curtain wall, uplights from behind the bed, taper candles in sconces on the wall, vintage and thrifted lamps — girl, lighting is everythingggg.
Your room will literally always be in the mood because you can set it and forget it. Too bad we all can’t just turn on automatically, amirite?
6. Make Your Bedroom a Shrine (how to personalize your bedroom decor to reflect who you are)
When it comes to decorating, make your room a shrine to sensuality. Adorn it with things that you love looking at, that make you feel alive, that wake up your memories and senses. Maybe bring in some things that you wouldn’t feel as comfortable displaying in public rooms of the house. This room needs to turn you on, remember?
And I don’t mean you need to plaster porn on the walls — I mean that your senses need to be awake, so make the decor personal, no matter what that means to you.
For me, my room is witchy, equestrian and travelled. I like my room to feel enchanted, like there’s a permanent magic spell cast around it. You can make that for yourself.
7. Act Natural (how to bring nature into your bedroom for a grounded, sensual space)
Incorporating nature into your room might just connect you with your own feral girl nature. Bring in some live plants, some fire (real or faux) or even some smoky incense. Let a ceiling fan blow gentle air on your skin, add a humidifier with an essential oil for some aroma therapy — whatever, girl! Your room, by now, will be making you feel totally alive. Nature is the final salute to the natural wonder that is you.
I keep tuning, grounding and communication crystals in my room, I light candles and I always keep my ceiling fan on low to keep the air moving. It feels right for me.
My new room is much, much moodier and more sensual.
Feel It Out
Everyone is different when it comes to sensuality, but this recipe works no matter what you’re into. As a home stylist, I follow the same 7-step method for every home or client I’m working with, because the basic formula can be applied to any style or any goal you have in mind for your space.
I wanted to share this in particular because I’ve experienced real changes in my life from changing my environment to reflect the person I want to be — and not just in the bedroom.
That’s why I started Alchemy of Home in the first place!
When I first meet clients, there are always deeper motivations behind why they want to change a room, so we go there! We don’t just pick things because they’re pretty. There’s a reason behind every single choice we make together, which is why the rooms we create last.
Trends come and go, but a deep connection to yourself (and your home) never fades.
If you’ve never thought about your home this way, but you want to learn how, let’s start with a free room audit. You can send me your space (virtually!) and I’ll take a look and give you some immediate feedback on how you can get closer to the home you’ve been imagining!
This was a long-ass post. If you made it this far, you’re a real one and you should definitely subscribe to my newsletter so we can keep the party going. The sign up is right below.
Written from home,
Liz
